Your system has encountered a fatal error.....

Crash and burn.  There was no phoenix rising from the ashes of my hard drive last week, though I seeded them with curses and watered them with tears.  There was no sympathy from my tech-wiz housemate.  “Back up.  Back up.  BACK UP!”  Still, I reserved the right to cry over spilled milk….and lost blog drafts, pictures of my cats and important benchmarks in my childrens’  lives....for at least 30 minutes.  I then pulled myself up by my bootstraps, shouldered my purse and headed for BestBuy.

I’ve moved on.  This blog comes to you from my new HP Pavilion dv7, compliments of BestBuy and my Christmas bonus (God bless my boss, the Good Santa). Next payday I’ll pick up some portable storage and train myself to BACK UP!

But I worry.  What if my real hard drive crashes; the one between my ears?  All those files that are ME, locked forever somewhere between my operating system and my hardware.  Seriously!  That happens to people my age and it’s not pretty.  No amount of chlorine in the gene pool protects you from old age or strokes.

I painfully remember watching my parents forget.  First it was which bills had been paid.  Then it was "Which direction is home?”, “Which child are you?” and finally “Who are you? Stop brushing my teeth so hard.”  It was terrifying for them and heartbreaking for us.  How I wished I could run to the electronic shop and buy them an upgrade.

So how do you back up life’s hard drive?   No use backing it up the Cloud.  That’s where it all ends up anyway.  Or maybe that’s a key!  We blog and Facebook ourselves into eternity hoping that if we suddenly can’t recognize ourselves, someone else will; someone who knew and loved us when we could still remember.

My oldest sister took up the mantel and kept family photos, cards, letters and scribblings, organizing them with great tenderness into heartwarming coffee table works for generations to come.  She has decades of Christmas tree ornaments with stories for each.  As we gather around June’s memory tree in the glow of a million tiny lights, she "remembers" our family back to life and we’re home again.  The magical thing about those stories is the way they pull out the best of family life… the love… and allow the scary things to get tangled in the tinsel.  That is how baby boomers preserve what would be lost.

Today we blog our treasures or post photos on our Facebook wall.  As the concept of the family unit disintegrates, these postings can be enjoyed by distant family and a world of strangers looking for scraps to quilt together some comfort for what they've missed.

Knowledge and technology are changing so quickly and life is lived at such a furious pace, I’m afraid that the world to come will be built on the shifting sand of the moment, lacking the rich soil and deep roots of yesterday.

Going forward, find a way to back up.

The OO in smOOth

Pull up a chair girls.  Fellas, listen and learn.  You may get some interesting gift ideas before this is over.

The cosmetic industry is a global concern worth about $13 billion.  Suffice to say, vanity is alive and well, no matter how old you are.

Personally, I’m not a big make-up gal. On me, less is best.  But I’ve got a thing for soft, smooth and scented.  Skin that is.  I figure lotion, razors and fragrances make up 80% of my cosmetic budget. As a young woman, when I could least afford to, I tried most of the really expensive options.  Today I get the same results for a fraction of the cost so I thought I’d pass along some findings after decades of personal research.  Keep in mind that this was not a clinical study and I can be a cynical fuddy-duddy.

Being Friday (my favorite day of the week), this morning’s ablutions were indulgent.  A little conditioner for the hair, Dead Sea rubbing salts for hands, feet and legs, a new razor for what needed shaving, my nifty exfoliating gloves for everyday….everything, followed by my softest, thickest, oversized towel.  And, an extra 10 minutes of hot water.  Luxury takes time, and on Friday, I’m worth it.  I finish off clean and smooth with a spritz of my favorite fragrance in a palmful of unscented lotion and enjoy the sensation of all over yummy.

I do my best thinking in the shower.  Some people sing….I think. It’s better for my apartment environment.   It occurred to me that I probably wasn’t the only 9 to 5 woman needing to jumpstart her week-end.  I work hard for my money, so I’m going to treat me right. And, I’m going to share….for free….my low budget, time efficient, at home recipe for “touch me” skin and "follow me" legs. 

You will need:

·        exfoliating bath gloves                                  $1.50- Amazon

·        sea salt scrub                                                   $14.69- Amazon

·        good soap                                                        $4.58- Amazon

·        triple blade disposable razor                        $3.57(4 pack) - Amazon

·        favorite fluffy towel

·        quality face cream                                         $19.99- Amazon 

·        quality unscented body lotion                     $5.99- Amazon

·        favorite perfume                                            I use Pink by VS Indulge in your favorite

·        steamy, hot shower

·        30 minutes of “you” time

Remember!  These investments will pay off for months!

Step into the shower and out of your mind.  Just think soft and clean and sleek.  Slip on the gloves, get them moist then scrub with the sea salts.  Go gently until you get a feel for how much scrubbing your skin can take.  It should tingle, not sting. 

The gloves and the salt will sluff off dead skin.  Ever wonder about that crud that gums up your new razor when you shave your legs?  Dirty, dead skin.  Get that stuff off there before you grab that new razor! 

Don’t neglect your feet, knees or elbows.  Rinse, then wash gently, lathering everything up with natural soap. 

Shave the legs last.  Lather ‘em up one more time (gloves still on!) with one more scrubbing.  Now that new triple blade razor will glide and leave you with the silkiest legs you’ve ever had.  You’ll avoid nicks because you’ve removed the tough, dead skin; hydrated your new skin; softened the hair shafts and opened the pores. 

When you’re smooth everywhere you want to be, just stand under the water and rinse the old, dead you right down the drain.  Prepare to cuddle yourself dry in your favorite fluffy towel and get ready to slather yourself with lotion.  Put a liberal squeeze in the palm of your hand and spritz with a bit of perfume.  A little scent goes a long way.  Mix it in your hands to set off the fragrance, then just get after yourself.  Don’t skimp.  I guarantee you’re going to feel way too sassy to go to work!  But…you will go to work …sassy. And you’ll feel that way, 9 to 5.

Save your face for last.  Apply the face cream lightly, rubbing it in with small circles.  Let it absorb while you select your favorite Friday wardrobe and appoint the jewels you want to compliment your look and feel.  Find your flirtiest shoes.  Add your make-up of choice.  It’s going to be a delicious day!

So fellas, if you made it through this far, and you paid attention, you may have the knowledge and insight to put together a very inspired Christmas basket, with instructions.  With enough savey, you could pull off a pretty interesting clinic with your girl on Christmas morning.

That would definitely be the OO in smOOth!

Don't forget to enjoy the music links!

Grinch TV

As long as I’m coming out of the Grinch closet, I may as well dump on Television; one of my pet peeves.

I have two rather large flat-screens in my apartment, but I don’t subscribe to cable, except for internet service.  I have a DVD player and a ROKU box for streaming.

I endured so much channel surfing and "words from our sponsors" while my kids were growing up that I gleefully refuse to pay for 104 stations of unreality shows,  sarcastic sitcoms and bad commercials. I've learned to entertain myself. 

Life is real enough.  Watching actors pretend to be stressed and clever just isn’t stimulating. I’m not amused by sarcastic, humiliating dialog that suggests I laugh at another’s shame.  I could knock on every other door in the neighborhood and catch the real deal.

With the money I save by not contracting with the cable companies, I‘ve built a respectable collection of great DVDs that I enjoy enough to watch over and over.  I pick out one that fits my mood, pop it in the DVD player and watch my favorite actors and characters fall in love, find themselves, have an adventure, or brave danger and risk without 15 commercial breaks that suggest I crack open a beer, eat a bag of chips and order pizza delivery. 

I like choosing a movie, flopping on the bed with the cats and watching it without distraction.  When one of my family phones from afar or my bladder suggests a trip to the throne room, I have this great “pause” button on my remote.  I can kibitz with my kids, take care of business, wander through the kitchen for healthy snacks…or not, and still get back to the movie before I’ve forgotten the plot.  If I get sleepy, pause still works.  I can pick up where I left off tomorrow.  I like choosing what I watch and controlling how and when I watch it.

So I’m a control freak?  Maybe I am.  So much of life is out of control that it’s nice to know I have some power over my entertainment, my snacks and my sorry bank account.

I had a sweet thing going with Netflix for a while that let me watch streaming movies for free and fill in the blanks with new features I wanted to see on rental discs delivered to my door.  Really sweet.  But alas, it was too good to last.  Netflix got banker-flu and decided they could squeeze a little more blood from my stone by splitting up the packages and making me pay twice.  Not gonna happen, Netflix.  I dropped the delivery movies and kept the streaming.  Now it seems that Netflix purposely puts fewer new or highly rated movies in the Instant Play queue.  Netflix is living its final days in my house.  There are other options out there…..and I still have a great collection of personal favorites right in my living room.

I don’t have a copy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, but I can buy it used on Amazon for about what I’d pay to rent it from Red Box and with my Amazon Prime free shipping, it’ll be here in two days…..like Netflix.  Then I get to keep it for next year.  Amazon Prime also gives me free streaming on a small selection of movies.

Cable companies and Netflix are really scary Grinches.  I’m still fairweather friends with Amazon but……that mean Grinch green is a greedy thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

… As the Grinch took the tree, as he started to shove, he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

 He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who. Little Cindy Lou Who, who was no more than two.
She stared at the Grinch and said..Santie Claus, why? Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?
But do you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick, that he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.
Why my sweet little tot... The fake Santie Claus lied...
...there's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here.
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, he got her a drink, and he sent her to bed.
And when Cindy Lou Who was in bed with her cup, he crupt to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar, and the last thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls, he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food that he left in the house was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse…..

from How the Grinch Stole Christmas  - Dr.Seuss