The Other Shoe

"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed."

Four, four and under; that was the count when my last was born.  I started with a pair; twin boys, followed by my third son 20 months later and my daughter in another 21.  It was a very busy shoe, so I adapted the famous eighteenth century nursery rhyme to fit my particular "shoe" style.

There once were four children who lived in a zoo.
Their mother? Alas, she had not a clue.
So she tortured with tickles each night before bed,
And threatened to beat them but kissed them instead.

What is a mother to do?  Children don’t come with instructions.  They don’t fit, they’re always untied, they won’t heel, their tongues are always wagging, they’re rarely in step, they create blisters and you can’t return them.  No wonder I have shoe issues!

My advice to mothers?  Buy the most comfortable sneakers you can find, teach your children to bake bread and make soup, tickle whenever possible and don’t blink.  The shoe will be empty too soon.